Are you in a Christmas Panic?

Have you decorated your home?  Your yard? Have you purchased all your gifts? Wrapped them? Mailed them? Did you have enough money? Did you overspend? What about Christmas cards? Have you done your holiday baking? Have you planned your meal? Have you made arrangements to visit relatives? Have you lined up care for your pets while you are gone? Have you planned what you are going to wear to the Christmas party? Have you seen Santa? What about Christmas fun? Have you seen parades? Are you going to a special Christmas event? Have you prepared yourself to “deal with” that relative that you just don’t like being around? Are you fighting more with your kids, your spouse, or others because simply put…

The holiday season is not about all those things I listed above, I promise you that.  Different families celebrate different events in different ways. When we get overwhelmed with trying to take on the traditions of others while trying to maintain our own traditions, it can be very despairing.

Did you know the holiday season is a time of depression and anxiety for many people?  As people pass from our lives, these days can be saddened with memories of days gone by. The days can run together with little to celebrate. With all the events and activities,the frustration can get to the point that we simply do not want to celebrate.

If you are feeling extremely overwhelmed right now, STOP pushing yourself. Here are a few simple tips to help you during this holiday season.

1) Sit down with pen and paper and plan your season. Do you really need to push yourself to see all those events? Decide what event or activity will bring you closer to your family or allow you to experience the joy of the event or activites not just fill in an obligation.

2) Don’t be afraid to set boundries with people. This can include your spouse, children, parents, in-laws, and friends.  If you feel you are being pulled in several different ways at once, talk it out with spouse or family and decide a plan of action. If people are not willing to negotiate changes in the holiday plans, you will have to make a decision and stick to your guns. A book I highly suggest is Boundries, When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  If you are having trouble setting boundries at Christmas, you probably have a hard time setting boundries during the rest of the year.

3) Don’t overspend!!!  With a terrible economy and many people unemployed this year, give yourself permission to say no on expensive gift-giving.  If you need to, explain to relatives and friends that this year gift-giving will be difficult. Instead plan something you can make for someone.  Brownies, fudge, bread, and other goodies are a perfect gifts for friends. Everyone loves goodies.  Grandparents love pictures and art from the grandchildren.  If your kids have a list that is a mile long,  place a limit on it. It’s ok. I promise your child will survive without a Zhu-Zhu pet. If you have a family or friend who tends to compete with gift-giving,  refuse to compete! No one can make you feel inferior but yourself. (Thank you Elenor Roosevelt)

4) Give a gift to the entire family. You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on a game system.  We have game night at our house and it consists of simple board games.  That $15 board game gives us so much more than fun. It gives us memories, time to talk together, and family cohesion that is needed in every family.  To make this gift unique, pair it up with a popcorn popper, special cups or glasses to be used only during game night, and a calendar with game night scheduled.

5) Celebrate the real reason for the season. Whether you celebrate the eight nights of Hanukkah, Jesus the Christ in Christmas, or Kwanza, the African American celebration of family, community, and culture, take time to stop and think about the meaning of each celebration.

6) Give yourself permission to stop and breath! It’s okay. If you expend all of your energy rushing around trying to prepare for Christmas, you have little left to just sit back and enjoy. Don’t be afraid to delegate certain jobs to people. You may be surprised that people around you may want to help. Let the kids make cookies, they may not be perfect but who really cares when they are going to be consumed. Let your family members contribute to the feast. Allow your kids to wrap gifts. Seriously, they don’t have to be perfect.

7) Don’t forget those who need you the most. Do you have a relative in a nursing home or hospital? Do you know of a widowed spouse or single person who may not have family? What about the single parent just trying to get by this holiday season? With all of our blessings, take time to think about them in prayer, service, or a simple phone call.  This will not only be a Christmas blessing to them, but perhaps the best Christmas blessing you can give yourself.

Finally, Christmas is about expectations. Allow yourself to enjoy simple expectations and don’t overwhelm yourself with expectations you know may be impossible to fulfill.  It’s not worth it.  Step back, take a mental inventory of what you want from the season, and seek out the help of others.